I hear apple picking is a good time. I’ve never been. I could have gone once but I went out for a panini instead. I have seen a lot of apple picking photos though, and everybody looks happy and carefree, frolicking about orchards in flannel. So I feel like maybe it’s a good thing to do, but I live five minutes from a grocery store, soooo….
I did not go literal apple picking this week, but I did go apple flavor picking for any interesting new apple flavored edibles. I’ve got practically a barrel full of apple-esque things, some of which were weird and some that I bought just because I knew they would be good and I wanted to eat them and editorial calories don’t count.
Apple Cinnamon Crunch Special K
I started with the cereal because it seemed natural. I’ve eaten most of the Special K flavors in my life, and feel like I know kind of what to expect from them. I’m kind of surprised they did a Limited Edition flavor, though, since they tend to stick with their known hits. Honestly, I don’t know if I can ever eat another bowl of Red Berries in my life. But The Apple Cinnamon Crunch looked promising. For cereal. When you opened the box there was a very strong fake apple smell, a little too sweet but not off-putting. There were the standard looking flakes and these little cluster bits that looked like yogurt covered raisins or something. Those were a weird tan sort of color that didn’t look too appetizing. They tasted like honey, maybe, but it was really hard to narrow down exactly what flavor they were.
Maybe they were supposed to be caramel, but they missed that mark. When you eat the flakes, you mostly get a cinnamon taste, which isn’t bad since cinnamon in cereal is quite palatable, but as you chew it, you do pick up more of an apple flavor. It’s almost an afterthought, though. These do hold their flavor in milk, and are otherwise standard Special K flakes that get soggy about as quickly as other flavors. This wasn’t bad, but those ugly cluster things were unnecessary and I don’t feel a need to repurchase.
Caramel Apple Snack Bites
If you do not live near a Target, I am sorry. Maybe you can console yourself in the knowledge that you live near something that I do not live near. I am 10 minutes from a Target in two directions though, so I’m just going to be smug about that while I show you these Caramel Apple Snack Bites that Target sells. I got kind of excited about these because I’ve had one other flavor of their Archer Farms brand snack bites and they weren’t messing around. I thought these would be equally good and crunchy like those, so they went right in my red basket.
This is where if you don’t live near a Target you can stop crying. These were gross. They smell mostly like peanut butter, which is fine, peanut butter is a strong smell and I expect it to overpower everything. These were not crunchy like I hoped. They were kind of chewy, yet crumbly, which is a really unpleasant combination. I mean somebody please tell me one time when chewy and crumbly works together. Really. There was a weird sour apple flavor which I guess was from the dehydrated apple pieces, but it was faint and sporadic, but when you did taste it, it was really not good. Those dehydrated apple pieces really made it hard to get down though, they added so much to the chewiness that even though I was long past wanting to be done with these things, I was still chewing.
Having to chew those things so long is what I get for being Targetsmug.
Apple Cinnamon Pizzelle
I’ve never been to Italy so I do not have any merit to judge these for being authentically Italian, I guess. I do know that I love them and I was 100% confident that they would be good so I bought them to reward myself for trying anything that turned out to be disgusting (see above.)
These are good like ice cream cone cookies. They have just the tiniest hint of apple smell and taste like the slightest little bit of apple cider. There isn’t much to them but they are crunchy and a safe bet and go well with a cup of tea. Just get them because they are a solid purchase in any flavor that I have tried. So like in four flavors.
Caramel Apple Hostess Cupcakes
I’ve never in my life ever had a Twinkie. That has nothing to do with this but I just wanted to let you know that. I’ve had my fair share of Hostess Cupcakes, though it’s been a long time. I feel like I will always remember how they taste. I think that the longer shelf life something has, the longer you are able to recall the taste almost perfectly. Something about the preservatives and stuff. I bet if I had a Twinkie I would remember it forever.
These cupcakes are, of course, individually wrapped so that you can conveniently carry them around in your purse in case of any cupcake emergencies when you’re on the go. (Every city can’t have a cupcake ATM, okay?) They smell entirely of caramel, and it’s almost a sickly smell. The icing and the filling are that same known Hostess texture. Waxy icing on top and soft whipped filling in the middle both taste like caramel. The cake was spongy and just a little greasy and had all the apple flavor, which wasn’t overly fake and just strong enough to stand out against the caramel. It was actually a really good balance of the two flavors, and of all the things I tried, I think the ratio of the two flavors was the best here. I would definitely buy these again. I don’t know that I actually will buy these again, but I would if they weren’t horrible for me.
Werther’s Original Caramel Apple Soft Caramels
This name seems kind of redundant. Could they not have just been Apple Caramels? Hmm?
So I guess that these soft caramels have been around a little while but I’ve never had one before. I’ve only ever had the original hard candies which I carry around in the pocket of my wool cardigan, which is the optimum hard caramel storage location.
These were sticky chewy caramels that smelled a lot more like apple than it tasted. The texture was more like taffy to me, not the chewy kind of caramel I expected. I guess that’s why they are soft caramels? These don’t melt on your tongue or anything. These honestly were not very good. I would be okay with their flavor ON a caramel apple, but I couldn’t eat more than one because it was just too much of a sickly sweet, sticky thing happening.
Caramel Apple Twizzlers Filled Twists
I was not excited about these. I am typically very wary of the electric green apple candy. It just doesn’t do it for me. But in the name of serious business, I decided to bite the bullet and give them a go. They have the predictable fake green apple smell, and it was strong enough that I didn’t smell any caramel when I opened the package. It wasn’t until I bit into it that I could smell the caramel. These were chewier than regular Twizzlers, I think because the licorice part was thinner than normal to allow for the filling, and the caramel made it harder for it to hold its shape. These don’t do a good job balancing the flavor.
Licorice is tough to taste around, so unless you really worked at chewing it, you couldn’t taste the apple and caramel at the same time. This really is just not a good texture for me, and I would never want to eat them again. I don’t think they really do much for the caramel apple flavor world, and you could probably be just as happy with an apple flavored Twizzler. I’m sure somebody disagrees with me, but that person is wrong.
Caramel Apple Peeps
Terrifying. Peeps are kind of weird to me as it is, and I just knew looking at these that they would be all sorts of sour and gross green apple flavor.
I was wrong.
They hardly smelled like apple or caramel. The caramel on the bottom tasted kind of burnt, but it wasn’t even like a good burnt caramel. It didn’t even really taste like caramel, to be honest. It was like something that isn’t caramel that is trying to taste like caramel. It was weird and it also kind of had a flakey texture. The marshmallow didn’t have an apple taste, really. Maybe if I closed my eyes and tried really hard I could pretend that I tasted apple, but I wasn’t interested in it enough to keep trying. I ate like half of one of these and forgot about it. If you have been hesitant to try these, go ahead. It won’t be super gross.
Hershey’s Caramel Apple Filled Milk Chocolates
I know this looks like another safe choice but that just means you haven’t tried any other seasonal filled chocolates. Or the wedding cake flavored Russell Stover candies. These also confused me because they are apple shaped but say they are caramel apple filled chocolates, so I didn’t know if they are supposed to be caramel apple flavored, or if they are just caramel filled apple shaped chocolates. After trying them, I still don’t know!
They have a soft liquidy caramel inside, which is great, but I just wasn’t getting any apple smell or taste. The chocolate is a good thickness so that the chocolate to caramel ratio is just about perfect. These are a really solid addition to the seasonal candy. I don’t know how unique or necessary they are, but they are pretty in their red foil wrappers and would be cute in a jar next to your apple scented candle that I know you are burning.
Was that enough apple food for you? No? (If it was then don’t be mad at me because you’re the one who kept reading.) If you want more apple things, I’ve got a special mid-month extra Apple Soda Review Section for you!
First up is Sour Green Apple Soda by Death Valley. I’ve been to Death Valley. It was hot and big. It did not smell or taste as bad as this soda. This didn’t have a super strong smell in the bottle, but it had full on green apple candy smell in the glass that about knocked me out. It was decently carbonated and super sweet. Too sweet. This was much more sweet than sour, but I guess Sweet Apple Death Valley doesn’t have a good ring to it.
I wasn’t sure what to expect from Apple Pie Soda, but it was pleasantly tolerable. It smelled like carbonated apple juice and tasted like fizzy cider. It does have a hint of cinnamon, and I fully buy this as apple pie filling soda. It really lives up to its name. I can’t drink more than a tiny bit of this because it’s so sweet, but it is a decent flavor for a novelty drink.
Jones Soda Green Apple was the one I was most confident about because I feel like Jones makes a consistent product. You kind of know what to expect from them. This smelled very strongly of apple in the bottle and had the most fizz when it was opened. Drinking it yielded minimal carbonation and a more indistinct flavor. This one tasted the least like what it claimed to be. Nothing stood out about it except the label.